so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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