That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
