just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
