this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
