I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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