do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
wow bdsm is so cute
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