Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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