You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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