Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
