Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When are your genitals available?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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