Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
