11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
