So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
