he was CRYING into my vagina
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize