I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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