I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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