I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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