your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
