he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
