He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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