Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize