Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
