I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
