the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize