ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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