listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
