I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
