Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize