there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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