If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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