Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
