Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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