Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
