Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
