Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
