sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
bring money and cleavage
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
