I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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