For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
