God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
