You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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