Operation Purity has been aborted
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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