I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
