I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
