hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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