you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
