just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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