God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
