Me. At least after what I've been through.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize