yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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