Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
