batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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