come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
