We're like a lot better than the average bears
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
