How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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