Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
