hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
