everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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